dreams are almost constant these days

I have been seeing the future since I was eleven. It is not as scary as you might think. I first noticed it with my brother; he was nine at the time. Coming out of a bowling alley with him and my dad I saw him lose his footing on some gravel and could hear one of his ankle bones break, then he was sitting on a medical table with a cast up to his knee, and then playing soccer for the high school team six years later. Back at the bowling alley he yelled out “shotgun” and sprinted for the van, I chased after him catching up just as he slipped rounding the corner of the van. I could hear the bone snap.

Ever since that moment I have never been anxious of anything.

The first time I saw someone’s death before it happened it didn’t seem any different than knowing my dad was going to come in the front door, instead of the back, when he got home from work today. By this point I had realized that everything was exactly as it should be; that everything that happens was meant to happen.

I have seen hundreds of thousands of moments in people’s lives since I was eleven. Some of them were done in love, others in hate, but for the most part they were just done.

Three days ago I was waiting to cross Third St. where it intersects Main and I took note of the man next to me. I saw him crossing Third Street, kissing his wife as he entered his house, and eating dinner with his family. The food smelled wonderful. The light turned green and I stepped out to cross. I glanced right, but the man was gone.

Turning around I saw the man walking back the other direction. I still saw him, I saw his wife, and I saw him eating dinner, but now I saw him crossing Park Street, instead of Third, to get over to Summer. They had never changed before. In fourteen years they had never changed.

I have never been so scared in my entire life. I have not moved a muscle in my body since. It has been three days.