i am not a witch!

Well, many many people told me that it rains in oregon and well. . . they were right.

top five panic moments of the last three weeks:

5. brielle realizing that during our first 3 minutes of driving in portland we managed to be flipped off twice
4. putting the 27 part faucet (for the amazing claw foot tub that steven bought for our bathroom) together for the 4th time to find that it leaks in 5 places; a.k.a. one more place than after the 3rd time i put it together
3. "yeah, you are not going to be able to have a reception at the church any more. sorry about that"
2. 20 miles to the next gas station and potentially enough gas for only 3 miles
1. the said gas station, when we miraculously made it, said "testical festival" in large letters on the sign, with a picture of a bull with his back legs crossed and a scared look on his face

top five celebratory moments of the last three weeks:
5. finding a group of people to play settlers of catan with within one day of being in eugene.
4. buying a table and chairs at pier 1 for 55% of the cost after some steven inspired bartering
3. playing multi-player halo for a while and realizing that i have not lost all of my charm
2. getting a phone call from a favored employee in grinnell to tell me that the theatre burned down during the first 3 minutes of my absence. "It was like the forth of july!!"
1. turning my new shower on after steven removed the flow restrictor and being thrown backward onto my rear.


more to come. there is much going on over here. i will try to get writing again.

the world is spinning

I met with my theatre staff last night. We had the obligatory "I couldn't have done this with out you/things are going to change with the new manager" meeting. I say that tongue in cheek now but it is true. My staff made it fun to come into work. Last night was the first time I really felt how much I am going to miss this place and these people. I don’t know how much things are going to change with the new manager but I made some guesses and tried to prepare them a little. Adrian asked me how much time I think she will need to get the hang of things (her move in date has moved again as her apartment will not be available yet, and now we have a grand total of 2 days of overlap, before I am on my way to Oregon) and I was tempted to say “well, if you really want to be prepared to run the theatre where it is now I would recommend being here since last December,” but I didn’t. She will do fine and in good time I think she may even do well.

Tonight is the last volleyball game of the regular season. It should be a good match, but I do not expect to lose more than 1 game out of the 3. We have been really solid the second half of this season. I doubt I will ever find a group of people as fun as this to play volleyball with. I will seek out some prospects in Eugene none the less.

Party in Grinnell this week if you have not heard. Brielle (a.k.a. the love of my life), Sarah (a.k.a. my favorite sister), Katy, Ross, Reid, and a handful of others are coming to visit. If you are still trying to decided whether to come, the weekend is likely to include: darts, good food, a private showing of Chronicles of Narnia, some good beer, general chill time in my apartment (I promise to turn the heat on), and a free concert at Grinnell College on Saturday night featuring Hockey Night and Anueretical. I have not heard of either band but historically Grinnell College has an amazing track record of finding good bands early in their career.

7 more days till i move.
31 till i marry.
my life is already not the same.

aquired

Dear Budweiser,

I am sorry that you make such a crappy beer.

love,
matt


P.S. I realize it is not your fault that so many people drink it.

*

I just shoveled for the first time this season. I am glad that it waited this long. To tell you the truth it wasn't even that bad even though there was a good 3 inches of the white stuff and it is the middle of the night.

I just rechecked all of you blogs and there have been no new posts since I checked them 3 hours ago. I am not insinuating that you all are slackers, I just wanted you to know that I noticed.

normal

I have lapsed back into video games this week. First it was the original Halo. I played through on "Legendary" as far as I could get. Then went out to rent Halo 2 but came home with Castlevania instead. I seem to remember a whip and cave bats from the original Castlevania for the 8-bit, but not much more than that. The new one has neither whips nor bats but is fairly entertaining.

I also rented "You, Me, and Everyone We Know". I am currently half way through. It feels like a very honest story. I like that, even if moments of it are slightly disturbing (maybe unsettling would be a more accurate description).

I am leaving Grinnell in 16 days.

I am getting married in 39.

Today I had pizza and milk for breakfast. My life will never be the same.

dreams are almost constant these days

I have been seeing the future since I was eleven. It is not as scary as you might think. I first noticed it with my brother; he was nine at the time. Coming out of a bowling alley with him and my dad I saw him lose his footing on some gravel and could hear one of his ankle bones break, then he was sitting on a medical table with a cast up to his knee, and then playing soccer for the high school team six years later. Back at the bowling alley he yelled out “shotgun” and sprinted for the van, I chased after him catching up just as he slipped rounding the corner of the van. I could hear the bone snap.

Ever since that moment I have never been anxious of anything.

The first time I saw someone’s death before it happened it didn’t seem any different than knowing my dad was going to come in the front door, instead of the back, when he got home from work today. By this point I had realized that everything was exactly as it should be; that everything that happens was meant to happen.

I have seen hundreds of thousands of moments in people’s lives since I was eleven. Some of them were done in love, others in hate, but for the most part they were just done.

Three days ago I was waiting to cross Third St. where it intersects Main and I took note of the man next to me. I saw him crossing Third Street, kissing his wife as he entered his house, and eating dinner with his family. The food smelled wonderful. The light turned green and I stepped out to cross. I glanced right, but the man was gone.

Turning around I saw the man walking back the other direction. I still saw him, I saw his wife, and I saw him eating dinner, but now I saw him crossing Park Street, instead of Third, to get over to Summer. They had never changed before. In fourteen years they had never changed.

I have never been so scared in my entire life. I have not moved a muscle in my body since. It has been three days.

mother . . . this is a . . .

Closing the theatre tonight I walked across the street laden with four plates of food, thanks to the Kesslers who work for me at the theatre (this surprise made what had turned out to be a very decent Thanksgiving into a good one). I was exhausted. Between Wednesday and today I had worked a total of 26 hours and was looking at another 16 the next day. Realizing I had left my car parked on the street, and wanting to avoid a parking ticket, I set the food down on the countertop, turned the heat up 10 degrees to 65, and left to move my car. Pulling up out back I locked my car and approached the back door patting my pockets for the keys. Hmmmm. Not in my pant or coat pockets. I know I had them because I used them to get in the front door with the food. . . . Nope, definitely left them in the house, must have set them down on the counter with the food.




Not even trying the back door I walked around the block (yes it is still under 20 degrees and very windy) based on the sole fact that I do not remember hearing the door click shut behind me (and with the blanket tucked under the door to stop drafts it does happen on occasion). Reaching the front door I grasp the handle and pull firmly. Nothing. I repeat this pull approximately 11 time rapidly, each time a little harder with a growing growl deep in my throat. After essentially pulling off the front door handle (I’ll have Fred take it out of my deposit), I trudged back around the block to the back door. What had been an insignificant chance that I had not locked the back door was now all I had. Only gave the back door two hard tugs as it moved even less. I pause to consider my options:

Calling Fred to open the door for me
Sleeping in my car
Sleeping in the theatre
Sleeping on a friends couch
Never sleeping or being warm again in my entire life

Considering the fact that it was currently 1:03 AM, approximately 20 degrees and dropping, and that the Kesslers were still cleaning the theatre and I didn’t feel like explaining to them that their now “demon” food had gotten me to lock my keys inside my now warm house, I skipped to option 4.

Having no luck at Evan and Cassandra’s apartment I proceeded to check the only open bar downtown to see if I could find Adam. I attracted a number of strange stares but considering the fact that I was still in my shirt and tie and fuming about the fact that my heat was to be enjoyed by no one that night, and that I would still have to pay for it, I can understand why. Not finding him there I headed back down the block toward my apartment.

At this point my mind lapses back into figuring out how to get into my apartment. This was the highest I had turned the heat all winter and after exhausting my other immediate options I wanted to get back in. With the front and back doors out of commission that only leaves the elevator and the elevator shaft. The elevator could only be reached by Jimbo, who owns and operates the bar in the basement of my building, and as he was closed for Thanksgiving and also did not have a phone that I knew of, that option was also out leaving me with the elevator shaft on the roof of my building.

I started by stacking two pallets up against the side of the building two down from mine. Using them as a ladder I was able to grab the edge of the roof and pull myself up. One floor down and one to go. The attached building between this one and mine was about 8 feet up at the lowest point. Jumping up I grabbed the roofline and attempted to pull myself up again, but to no avail. At this point I silently cursed the third plate of food that I filled for Thanksgiving dinner. I jumped up again and while I had even less strength to lift I noticed an electric box off to my right that gave my legs just enough leverage to lift myself up. The 5 foot difference between this building and my own was a piece of cake and I approached the elevator shaft.

I had been on the roof a number of times before but this would be different. The doors between my apartment and the elevator shaft are the kind that lift up as the elevator rises, three long wooden panels. Typically I would lift the top two panels and prop them up with a scrap piece of metal. With those two panels taken care of I would step on the bottom one making it easier to climb onto the ladder which was mounted to the elevator shaft wall. Without this bottom panel (approx. 20 inches high) it was nearly impossible to scale the ladder as the first ladder rung was level with my upper chest. So here I am at the top, with the elevator inconveniently yet predictably stored at the main level, and the doors to my upper floor heavily closed.

As I leaned over the black abyss I could feel the heat rising from my apartment and my second wind rushed in. With my flashlight between my teeth I grabbed the ladder and swung out over the shaft. Don’t worry Matt it is only a mere 30 feet to the bottom of the elevator shaft, high chance of severe injury but very low chance of death.



I climbed down to the last rung and looked over at the door. As it seemed I needed to be even lower to reach the top section of the door I bent down and wrapped my right arm around the second to last rung and slowly lowered my dangling legs toward the door. My left foot easily reached the top section of the door but was not long enough to reach the middle one. This was not a huge disappointment as I had already decided that I would not be strong enough to get both of the panels up. I settled on the top one and hooked my toe under the edge. I was able to lift it approximately 5 inches before it slipped off my toe but I was not fast enough to get my entire foot between it and the board below it. After two more tries I got my foot in, lift it with my ankle just far enough to get my calf in and repeat the process for my thigh and hip. Resting some of my weight on the elevator door, I used my left arm to push up the top board. Deciding that I had enough space I pushed off of the ladder with my right arm and tucked and rolled through the opening. Crashing to the floor the top panel dropped shut behind me to make a picture perfect Indiana Jones escape.

Of course at this point I am sweating and so I proceed to turn the heat back down to 55 and head to bed. But not before polishing off one of the four plates of food that the Kesslers sent me home with.

working thanksgiving

For most the day it did not feel like Thanksgiving. It may have been the absence of family but I think it may have been a little more allusive than that. I came to work early and treated the crowds with papcorn and holiday movies. They were fairly large crowds. It was clear that many of them were from out of town. In part because of the surprise at the $4 matinee tickets (as opposed to $12) but more directly because I heard at least 3 foreign languages (some kind of Arabic, Russian, and even some French), I guess with the diverse faculty that they have at Grinnell College comes even more diverse relatives.

After the 4 o’clock shows began, I bundled up and trudged across town (trudged is a slight exaggeration as we did not have any snow, but it was 20 degrees and very windy so I feel like it is justified). Two blocks away lives a nice man Kamal and his family. Kamal runs the best restaurant in town called the Phoenix and used to be my neighbor. I happened to run into him a week back and he had invited me over for some food, telling me they would be at the restaurant at not at their home, and that I should be there.

Entering the restaurant there was no one in sight but it did smell wonderful. As I came through the door they came into view carrying a tray of wine glasses (one kind for white wines and one kind for red) and a tub of ice holding the white wines, deep in a hearty conversation. They paused just long enough to pull me into the house (the restaurant is in a converted house) with a warm “come in. come in.” I fielded a few questions about where Brielle was and what my family what up to this Thanksgiving (it was ever so nice to have someone other than myself miss the presence of my fiancé) before they disappeared back into the kitchen. Just then a random uncle appeared and sat at the piano playing random tunes (he reminded me of a skinny Tom Waits who had never smoked). As I wandered in circles through the empty dining area I realized that this was not the intimate family affair that I had imagined. I counted 42 place settings.

I wandered into the kitchen in time to see Kamal and his brother cutting the turkey., well three turkeys to be specific, and setting out huge containers of beats, mashed potatoes, stuffing, steamed vegetables, and some kind of confetti colored cranberry dish. Snapping out of my food induced trance I noticed a small stream of people flowing through the front door carrying countless pies and whipped topping in a metal mixing bowl.

With conversation swilling all around me I began to feel out of place. It was nice to see their family interacting but this was not my family and these were not my conversations. Two aunts near my right were exchanging stories about their children and their respective grade schools both talking as though their children were not silently standing half behind each leg, I listened intently and not seeing a comfortable moment to join the conversation (for although I was wearing a shirt and tie at the time, I have cleaned up my share of baby vomit and dirty diapers) I turned around for my tenth trip around the empty dining area. For a moment I conceded that this was the most it would feel like Thanksgiving today and headed for my coat. It was the food that stopped me just short of the front door. Since this was technically my dinner break I decided that I should at least stay long enough to get a bite to eat.

Trying not to trip over the small children running around I filled my plate to the edges and sat down at the first big table. It only took about two minutes for me to realize that I had inadvertently picked the kids table. I racked my brain for good starter questions but only came up with the usual “Where are you from? How long are you staying? So you are all cousins or what?” Yeah, terrible I know. After the third awkward silence I began plotting my escape. For some reason I was sure they were having more fun at the table full of the crazy aunts or the one where the piano playing uncle had just sat down after finishing a rough but pleasant version of piano man. With most of my food left and a full glass of wine I was nowhere near a natural reason. As I put the final mental touches on my excuse to switch tables (which happened to include aliens and a tragic simultaneous third and four world wars if I were to stay at this table) I was unexpectedly saved from the awkwardness. At exactly the same moment, as if they silently agreed they had been hard enough on me, a conversation broke out on both sides of me one about the game of Risk going on upstairs and the other about the new Harry Potter movie. Feeling at home in the two conversations I participated equally in both and before long was laughing and debating musical tastes and general world domination with a huge smile on my face.

After going back for thirds and eating my share of the pies I headed back to the theatre, having already stayed a little longer than I should have. Carrying a box full of extra food for my employees back through the cold I smiled, although I was missing my family and my love, it was the kids and the laughing that really made it feel like Thanksgiving, and the food, which was amazing, quickly became a sideline bonus.

macho sucks

Alright Jack I got another one (i.e. three) for you.

Last night we opened Saw II, a second in the Saw series (although for those of you that are interested, it was written by a graduate of Grinnell College that had never seen Saw. Someone bought his story, adapted it to fit the Saw story line and shazaam instant sequel. One other bit of Saw trivia for ya: the actor who plays the kidnapper in the first Saw is from Grinnell and I met his parents the other night. Apparently he also has a role in Zorro and they came out to see it). For those of you that don’t already know I dread playing “R” rated movies because most of my night is spent listening to 27 identical stories about how they accidentally dropped their id into the Grand Canyon last week and although an amazing updraft almost brought it back into their reach a pterodactyl swooped down and ate it thinking that it was a prehistoric moth. Tragic. Actually if I ever heard a decent variation of “Oh I don’t have it with me” I just might let them in based on creativity alone.

The four o’clock shows went without a hitch. We sold about 5 tickets to the movie. In fact the gap between the two shows went fairly smoothly as well, except for the story of near death which we will cover soon. So now we are sitting just before the 7 o’clock movie starts. I have heard about 9 variations of “I didn’t bring my id” and about 6 pleas about why they should be allowed an exception to the rule. I have a line of about 20 people mostly families and kids for Chicken Little and Dreamer, but a few scattered teens clearly here for Saw II. A guy walks up to the counter with two young girls, one on either side of him. I am guessing him to be around 24 and the girls to be between 15 and 17. He asks for 3 tickets and I ask for their ids. Neither one of the girls has their id but he assures me that they are both 17. I press him on it telling him that I have to see the ids or no tickets. Then he comes out with a story about how the girl on his right is his sister and he is her legal guardian and therefore she doesn’t need her id. He tells me that their parents died while back and the courts appointed him her legal guardian. While unlikely, I tell him ok but still insist on seeing the other girl’s id. She breaks into a story, but before she gets too far he holds up his hand to silence her, gives me a smug look, and says “she’s ok I’ll vouch for her.” At this point I am growing tired of them and the people behind them in line are craning their necks to see what is going on. When he realizes that that excuse still doesn’t fly, just like it didn’t when he used it 2 minutes before that, he slips his hand into his pocket and slides a bright and shiny

across the counter. Sporting an even smugger face he cocks his head a little and assures me that that would be mine if I just helped him out this once. I decided that that was enough and told him firmly that they were to leave. At this point he leans slightly over the counter and asks “who are you talking to!?” I respond, possibly a little too quickly, “I am talking to you.” In an instant his face changes and I am suddenly sure that I am going to get hit in the face. Poor Joey and Susie, in line behind him, just came for their Chicken Little tickets and they are going to be scared for life. And while I know that Joey and Adam have my back they wont be able to get here quick enough to stop the first and fatal blow. Thankfully, instead of pulling a John Cossack from High Fidelity, he simply turns and leaves with his underage floosies in tow. They stew just outside the front door for a while, throwing me dirty looks, but end up leaving without giving me any more trouble.

bowling for q tips

Now cut to the beginning of the 9 o’clock shows, chalk up 10 more ‘forgotten’ ids and 2 more requests for personal favors that would allow them to get into the movie underage. I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye and turn my head just in time to catch two kids disappearing into Saw II, the same two kids that I had just refused tickets to because the guy’s girlfriend was only 16. My concession guy attempted some half hearted “Can I. . . need to. . . ticket” but they were unaffected. So I jog across the lobby hoping to catch them before they sit down (with the movie already running I was not looking forward to a game of “who’s who” in the dark). As I am almost to the door a little girl comes sprinting around the corner right into my path. With my cat like reflexes I dodge to the left just missing her, but while dodging I managed to bump an adult coming out of Dreamer. Having already used up my reflexes to avoid the first collision I turned to catch myself as I fell. While falling I turned just enough to watch a sixty year old woman

stumble and fall over backwards; the woman that I had bumped while trying to avoid the little girl. I jumped up and helped her back to her feet, feeling much more like a shmuck than I ever have in my life. She was fine. I apologized and mumbled something about trying to keep the younger kids out of Saw II. She apologized for “getting in my way.” I assured her that she had done nothing of the sort and that it was completely my fault. Meanwhile the two underage kids peaked back out and, seeing that they were caught, proceeded to stand there and smirk. Her husband walked her out and, while he looked really pissed, didn’t say a word to me (her husband happens to be one of the primary investors in the theatre). I then gave a weak attempt at kicking the two kids out of the theatre but instead sent them back into Chicken Little.

Before last night I would be hard pressed to recount any embarrassing moment, but not so much anymore.

clots anyone?

And the one that takes the cake (warning not for the faint of heart; seriously). Shortly after the 4 o’clock shows started (before both of the previous anecdotes) two girls came in to buy tickets for the 7 o’clock Saw II. They give me the usual banter, pretending to be offended that I don’t think they look old enough. According to their ids they are both 17 so I sell them their tickets and they leave. Thirty seconds later they come back in the door with one girl holding her hand to her face trying to stop her nose from bleeding. I hand her friend some paper towels and direct them toward the bathrooms. As they walk by I hear the girl mumbling something like “Holli I am scared… Holly I’m scared...” The friend turns to me and says she needs the phone to call an ambulance. While I silently scoff at the idea of calling an ambulance for a bloody nose, I tell her that I will call them and she should go with her friend.

The operator informs me that once they get here it will be up to her whether or not to go with them, so I comply with her request and ask that one be sent over. So, the two girls are in the bathroom along with one of my employees and I am lingering in the lobby waiting for the paramedics to show up. At this point I am feeling rather calm. You know “all in a days work.” I turn around to see my employee coming out of the bathroom. She tells me that apparently this girl had just had some kind of surgery and is not sure what is going on. While I silently wondered what kind of cosmetic surgery seventeen year old girls are having these days, I notice Holli coming out of the bathroom and walk up to the concession trash like she is preparing to vomit. My gut tells me that this is a very bad sign and that I need to see what is going on in there.

I enter the girl’s bathroom following the trail of blood across the tile, and see the last thing I would have ever imagined I’d see. She is leaning over the bathroom sink with blood covering her hands and most of the area around her mouth. Her hands are gripping the edge of the counter top and her whole body is trembling with sheer panic. The white sink and countertop are covered with blood, with splatters also on the wall and mirror. On top of that there is still a small stream coming out of her mouth.



While blood has never bothered me in the past, my gut tightened and a sharp spike appeared in my stomach. I had never seen this much blood before and I was pretty sure this had nothing to do with a bloody nose. As I got closer to her I realized that what I thought had been her tongue was actually a blood clot hanging from her mouth. In fact, the bottom of the sink was covered in them. I put my hand on her shoulder and told her to look at me. She turned her head ever so slightly and moved her eyes in my direction. Small streaks of tears ran down both sides of her face and while her eyes did not focus on me I knew that she was listening. I had no idea what I was going to say but I started talking. I told her that help was on the way and tried to assure her that while it looked gross, and probably felt even more so, that the clumps were a normal part of her body trying to stop the bleeding. I admitted that I didn’t know why she was bleeding but that is why we were getting help. As I was talking a chill went over my whole body and I suddenly felt terrible for her. I know it sounds ridiculous but next thing I knew I was telling her that I was sorry that this was happening to her. I am not sure how much she heard, or how much she will remember, but she did stop whimpering and her arms were not shaking nearly as much.

At that point I heard the sirens and came out of the bathroom to direct them in. The first one to arrive was a police officer with the paramedics right behind him. I waited just outside the bathroom as they asked her questions and brought the stretcher in. It turns out that she had had her tonsils out the week before and not some kind of cosmetic surgery. They wheeled her out as she held a plastic bag to her mouth with a trickling of blood running down the inside of the bag. I broke out some gloves and paper towels and started the clean up. It didn’t take too long.

A few hours later Holli came back in to thank us for our help and to tell us that the girl was going to be fine. Reportedly the girl had coughed or sneezed really hard and had managed to pop the stitches on both sides of her throat from her recent tonsillectomy. They scheduled her for an ‘emergency’ surgery that night and got her all fixed up.

Well, all in a days work I guess. But many more days like that and I am going to need a significant pay raise.

Bela Fleck & Edgar Meyer

Tonight I saw the best live show I have ever seen. Bela Fleck is an amazing Banjo player and Edgar Meyer played the upright bass and piano. The music was incredible. To see it happen live . . . well it just was.

Meyer plucked and bowed as quickly on his bass as I have only seen a violin or viola played. In fact at times it sounded like a violin.

Near the end of ths show Fleck pulled out a very impressive steel guitar. Not the best track of the night but unique as all the rest.

I guess I can't really say enough about it and at the same time feel like I am saying nothing. All I know is that I felt it. It made me happy, I was focused and then drifting, at times I had tears in my eyes. After each song a nearly deafening roar would start up behind me. The College chapel was packed to the edges and I sat on the floor dead center in the very front. I wish you all could have been there with me.

Thats Mr. Bouncer Matt to You

Last night I helped out a friend by checking ids at the door of his bar. Little did I know all the crazies would be out, with it being so close to halloween. Night went smoothly though. No one game me much trouble and there wasn't anyone underage that was trying to get in. Highlight of the night came early on. Had only been there about an hour when the door flew open (being in the basement there are a number of stairs that come straight down from the door to me) I looked up just in time to see, and get out of the way of, two flying raccoons coming down the stairs. Yeah, I know, I didn't think they could fly either I thought it was just those floating squirrels that could do that. Well I don't think that they had done much of it either cause they botched the landing and died upon impact. So here I am, my first and only night on the job, and now I have two dead racoons at my feet. I lectured them for a few minutes about the effect of alcohol and how it can be liquid courage for some and cause problems. When I sensed that they weren't really listening I kindly showed them out the back door.

/

things of the day

worst moment of the day: waking up at 11am realizing i over slept 2 hours

best moment of the day: catching Brielle just before she was off to work

best food of the day: chinese kung pow beef at chung garden (5.25 for plate, egg roll, and hot&sour soup).

today's comforting fortune: you are the master of every situation

today’s confusing fortune: you are the master of every situation

today’s ominous fortune: you are the master of every situation

guilty pleasure of the day: tegan and sara

procrastination of the day: with the sun shining and fairly warm, i am happy to say that it is turning on my heat (i have aspirations to wait until i can see my breath)

hope of the day: that my insurance writes me a check for the stuff that got stolen

website of the day: thinkwonder.com

i had 1 job!

Came back from volleyball deciding that it was time to make a decent meal. Buttered some bread, on the outside, spread some Grey Poupon and mayo on the inside, thin coating of sharp cheddar on each side, layed out the thinly sliced ham on top the cheese, added some freshly cut green peppers and onions, and layed it on the prepared pan to warm and melt the chesse. And I sit down now with it sizzling on my plate. Bread a fine golden color and cheese oozing a little from the sides. Wonderful. (From this angle you would have no idea that the bottom is burnt beyond recognition).

The heat is still off and it actually warmed a little with the needle just under 65 (if you dont know what I am talking about then you missed some comments on others blogs. go ahead and catch up i'll wait for you. sheeeeeeesh, some people have no concept of community. oh! your back. good job). I did struggle with turning it on today. Lastnight I slept in my clothes (an old habit that started while I was the CA of east campus at Dordt), so convenient and considerably warmer, and also wore a simple tan winter cap. Jack would recognize it if he was given the chance. I seemed to have a memory of it being stretched over his blossoming dreads back in the day.



Thats all i got for now. Back to Legends of Zelda (I realized the other day that I never really beat it as a child and so I downloaded an emulator and am working my way through it. Strange at times, I seem to know where things are fairly well yet, but am getting stuck often enough that it is turning out to be a good challenge.)

yeah. . . so

Ate some food just now so that I will be able to play volleyball tomorrow. It tasted really good and although I did not overeat I feel a little sick. With it being over I think I am still the same. Not sure what I expected.

Last night someone almost fell down my elevator shaft. Would have hurt. Might have died. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to panic. Just helped lift him back up.

Black Heart Procession creeps me out alittle but I keep listening.

A Change of Mind and Soul

I have just committed myself to a time of fasting. Actually it was earlier today but by posting it I hope to feel more accountable to myself. Promises to myself seem the least important to keep no matter the context in which they were made.

In preparation I am reading through the appropriate chapter in Celebration of Discipline.

My goals for this period include:
- calming and stilling my body
- recognizing the role food normally plays in my life
- treating everyone with the same patients and respect that I do when I am satisfied and not in want
- recognizing that the peace needed to do as such comes from God and not me
- bringing my sinful self before God each time my body complains

I realize it is encouraged to keep these sort of things private, but I know that I will not follow through with it unless I have some others to keep me accountable.

May God keep me humble as I struggle to make this an experience and not an accomplishment.

The Peasants Rejoice

Today they opened the street in front of my house.

While they have some more brick work to do (i.e. sawing at all hours of the morning), the end really is in sight. I will admit that it looks great. Although, with the theatre being down around %40, my employees have been hurting for hours, and me fighting boredom I am not certain it has been worth it. Originally they said that it would take 6 weeks, maybe 8, and with this clocking in at just over 14 it is hard to not be a little bitter or at least sore about it.

I enjoyed myself very much in Sioux Center this past weekend. I hope to make it there again soon.

Just over two months before I get to get a puppy or three. I hope they look much like these



Oh yeah. I am also getting married around the same time and you should come (visit the puppies).

3 - 0

Won our third set of games tonight. So far so good. The games weren't terribly intense but still very fun. Next week we face the team that took first last year. Luck for us they lost their German pro volleyball player, who played with them last year, as he has left the country. If my memory serves me correctly he looked a little like this:



Yeah that looks about right only he was bald and a little taller. No matter how hard I tried I was unable to keep my eyes open as I went to block him.


As a side note I finished stripping the stain and varnish off of the oak desk my dad game me. It is all quarter-sawn giving the grain a unique look. Tomorrow night I can begin putting the 56 needed coats of stain and vanish on it. With a 2 day drying time I should be done sometime late 2007.

Tegan and Sara

Guess who I saw in concert Saturday night?

Good guess. How did you know?

Oh, right. The title.




They did a very fine job and sounded great. I strongly tend toward their more mello songs.

Highlight of the show: Sara and Tegan arguing on stage about some sister kind of thing.

Worst part of the show: the opening band. They were 3 caucasion female rappers. That seemed to be whinning/schreeeching and have sporatic epileptic fits that only effected their arms from their elbow to their wrists.


I would like to take this moment to thank Ashley and Brielle for mentioning this band in the past else I would have overlooked the listing in the college paper, and missed this free concert (everything is free at Grinnell. They have billions of dollars. Really.).

And, yes, I did get you something Ashley.

Oregons best. And also not bad.

The things that get you down

Selling lots of tickets to Wallace and Gromit tonight, and that is exciting, despite the fact that we have no sidewalk and the forms are up, so getting through the front doors of the theatre feels a little like a obstacle course/lawsuit waiting to happen.

I can't shake this sunk feeling I have in my gut right now. A guy and girl in their late 20's came up to the counter with three kids (siblings to one of the couple I believe) tonight to buy tickets to Wallace and Gromit. The guy asked for 3 kids and 2 adults. After scanning the kids faces I pointed out that our child rate was for children 12 and under. The guy looked me in the eye, tipped his head a little to the side, and said "yeah" as he nodded his head affirmatively and widened his eyes a little. I paused for a second and turned to ring in the tickets when the boy (around 11) piped up with “no, Taylor is not. . .” until the guy cut him off with a very sharp “Thank-You Jason.” I proceeded to ring in 3 adult and 2 child tickets as the woman turned and said “Jason when you start paying for things you will realize that things are different.” As I gave him the tickets I turned to the boy and told him that honesty is still the best way to go. She again chirped in with “No, it really isn’t.” After a slight pause, during which I looked at the woman and then back at the kid, I said “I disagree. But regardless the movie is good.”

Reliving the moment I don’t feel quite as bad anymore. I guess I did what I could and hopefully rekindled whatever morality and child still has left. But still moments like that, when that woman looked right at this little kid and said “no it really isn’t” make the bottom of my stomach drop and a little acid rise in the back of my throat. And the worst part, seem to kill any hope or fun I have floating in my heart at the time.

Till Forever

What is it that is so tempting about drawing your name in wet concrete? They poured the sidewalk in front of my house today and with it being so cold it is taking forever to cure. So right now there is a guy sitting out in his van guarding it till morning. I snuck out my front door and peaked out. He didn’t see me but as I knelt over it its smoothness and color defied my desire to mar it and I came back in.

I had a conversation with Nate last night. He is the guy that was invited to hang out with us the night my stuff got stolen; the ‘friend’ of the guy who walked off with some of my things. I asked him if he had had any luck getting my stuff back and he said no, that this guy hasn’t even returned his calls and is a bit of a vagrant. As he was telling me this I realized that he was wearing one of my missing earrings (while Brielle and Sarah were here I realized that all my piercing jewelry is also missing). He swore that he had bought the rings two weeks ago at Hot Topic. I told him I didn’t believe him and I still don’t. This is the same guy that said he was soooo sorry that this friend had done this thing and that he would make it right again. After all, he is a firm believer in karma and doesn’t what this kind of thing coming back to him. Whether or not karma is real I told him if I don’t hear from him by Saturday, that I am filing a police report, like normal people do when this sort of thing happens, and that I am sick of him assuring me that things will be fine and that he “would rather deal with this guy himself.”

Just started season 3 of Six Feet Under. Am fairly disappointed. As much as I hated what she was doing to herself and Nate, I think Brenda may have been my favorite. And so far she is nowhere to be found. Maybe they will get things rolling again. Until then I guess it is back to some good old fashion reading and internet chess.

A History Of Violence

So I watched A History of Violence yesterday. Took a short drive to Marshalltown and got in for free since it is also a Fridley Theatre. And to tell you the truth I really liked it. And if you have read Laura's blog you will know that she is going to be rather upset with me right now. That is, until she reads that I am just kidding and actually have not seen it and do not plan to see it on her advice. Besides I didn't have any time tonight to watch a movie I had a volleyball game to play.

I have been playing regularly on Sunday afternoons over at Grinnell college with the best group I have ever played with. I don't mean that they are the most talented, although they do especially well alongside there varying ages of 21-65, I mean that they are so very much fun to play with. The regulars include 2 geology profs, the physics lab tech, a high school science teacher, a long route truck driver (complete with sweet long white beard and long white curly hair), and many other college students and college employees. The skill levels are all fairly high and make for great games. Through Sundays I got hooked up with a league team. I played last spring season finishing second and hope to one up that this year. We have a great team, everyone plays well together, and seems to have a great time.

Tonight we won all three games. Part of me wishes the opposing team had one the last one but what can you do. The other team happens to be captained by a fella who left our team after last season. Himself and other currently on our team did not get along so well so I guess it is for the best. With that in mind I was really hoping to play well and we did. To top it off we also won. The end.

I now return myself to the regularly schedualed episode(s) of Six Feet Under (most of the way through season two now, and one can only take so many loses at the chess table before storing his king for the night).

Thought It Was A Nightmare

So right now one of these is going by my apartment. "No big deal" one might think. I would have thought the same last week if you told me they would be bringing in these guys. But little did I know that they had 256 of these guys inside the thing:

With these little guys working overtime inside that drum I can feel the thing coming around the corner. First it is just a little vibration in the floor but crescendos to nighmare levels when he (i.e. they) are right in front of my building. In fact my skins begins to itch in my legs things are shaking so much and for so long. I hope that is the last of them. I don't think I can wake up a third day in a row like this and not start cursing out of the window at them.

No Solid Food for 4 Hours

Finished the second of 2 dentist appointments for my "reconstruction". Went super smooth and since my nap, which ended 2 minutes ago, my face is back to normal. That should be it for the foreseeable future. Another cleaning in 6 months or so but with regular brushing, which I do, and my new habit of flossing, every other day or so, my teeth should be in great shape for some time.

Hit 2 media landmarks last night. I finished book 6 of the Harry Potter series and watched the final episode of Six Feet Under season 1. I believe that I like Harry better but Six Feet Under is very intense and provides some great thoughts/experiences regarding death. So now I join the ranks of fifth graders waiting for book 7 (do you think now is too early to get in line at B&N?). Thanks to someone else’s blog comment (names will be withheld to protect the guilty) the closing of book 6 was not much of a surprise but still good.

Last night as I watched David pray in desperation something like "Lord please help me; Please fill this emptiness with your love" I realized that they are presenting some truth. I don't mean about faith in God, but about our collective struggle to find love and fill our emptiness. I am not stating that I believe the shows writers are Christians and that is why I am intrigued. But simply that I appreciate their presentation of some people’s stories and the human condition. The fact that these stories keep facing the death of others (they run a mortuary) adds a factor that I know almost nothing about. And besides they do a good job with the music.

Day Off

My ears are ringing a little right now. Been blasting music for the last hour. But feel much better.

Today was my first of two dentist appointments. As I am under Fridleys dental insurance thought it would be keen to take advantage of it. They did a little "reconstructive" work (i.e. filled a cavity). Must say that it went very well. No pain and very little discomfort, most of which is right now where the injections were. The secretary ladies called me yesterday to confirm my appointment. Being as I was still in bed at 8:30 am when they called I ignored the call. Did the same thing when they called again at 11:15 asI was still in bed, they left another message. Got a call during my shower at 1:30 and again right as I was walking into work at 3:30. Both times it was them and I was mosly occupied so I left it ring, no messages these times. When they called at 5:30, I imagine on their way out the door, I left it ring on principal.

I did answer it today though. They called at 11:01 (my appointment was at 11) as I was turning the corner of their block. I assured them that I was on my way and could see the front door. Despite the borderline harassment it was the smoothest visit I have ever had. The doc did great work and kept me abreast as to what he was up to in there. My teeth look exactely the same to me but without soreness as I floss between those two teeth. Will be in next week for the same thing right above that spot. Am thinking that I will call them two nights before and leave a message around 3 am or so 'to confirm my appointment'. I wonder if they will see the irony and laugh, or just think that I hate them?

Won and lost some great games of chess today. Would be happy to post them if anyone is familiar with chess notation.

Not sure why I needed the music overdose. Had a lingering sence of ennui as the day went on and it seemed to peak as I read through my friends blogs (welcome to the blogging world ian). I miss you cats. You know who you are. Played of lot of my classics. Maybe you'll see a playlist in the near future.

Another Night On The Town

Been at the Down Under Pub every night this week, Amber Bock pints all around. Tonight was probably my favorite so far though. Bruce and I won 6 pool games in a row (picture a 6' 2" Hagred from Harry Potter and you won't be too far off) and I had a great chat with Bobby from Bulgaria (the true home of feta cheese so they say). This guy Bobby has a great mastery of the English language but has these pauses in his speech that reminds me of a small child learning to talk.

I almost hate to burden you readers with this, but I really miss my love. With school starting we have cut back on show times at the theatre and that combined with Brielle being back at school, I don't seem to know what to do with myself. I find myself just sitting and thinking about times past: from Brielle's first night in Grinnell to the time Ethan and I walked across campus to visit Laura completely covered in bubble wrap from head to toe. Ani Difranco says that "Art is why I get up in the morning." I think the love of friends (or the memory there of) gets me up.

I tracked down one of the fellas that was at my house the night of the "robbery." It turns out that we (Adam Brenaman and I) had invited him up, but that his "friend" was the one that walked off with my items. He apologized up and down many times as we talked and professed his adherence to karma (karma is real) and how he felt terrible that he had brought this into my house. He offered to replace the items and buy me a shot/beer every time we see each other for the foreseeable future, but I said that my stuff back would be more than enough. Time will tell what really happens.

Watched 40 Yr Old Virgin and Red Eye as I ate my Chinese on Friday. Laughed real good at 40 Yr Old and spilled my burning hot soup on myself during Red Eye (have a red mark on my forearm as I write this).

Yeah I got nothing really. Just some random news.

Love you all.

Peace.

Give it a Try

Music I Tried This Week

• clap your hands say yeah (thanks to Justin from eugene)
• kanye west (no thanks to pitchfork media)
• bloc party (thanks to pitchfork media)
• shame train (thanks to local music)
• handsome boy modeling school (thanks to ashley from long ago)

Beer I Tried This Week

• harp lager (also not bad)
• hefe Weizen (not bad)
• red hook amber ale (thanks to my parents)
• orange blossom cream ale (thanks to brielle leaving a couple when she left)
• pyramid curve ball (thank to a sale at mc nallys)

Things I Have Tried In Vain In Order To Sleep Past 7 AM

• ignore the dump trucks backing all-the-way-down my street (beep, beep, beep, beep. . . etc)
• ignore the major earth quakes as they break up (i.e. smash) the sidewalk so it can be scooped up
• ignore the rattling walls and windows responding to the earth quakes
• ignore the husky men cursing cause some guy named jon tore up a little too much of the sidewalk (i.e. what the fuck?! you tore up the whole fucking thing! now i dont know what the fuck we are going to do!) while in fact it was only about 4 inches too much
• ignore my newly vibrating bed (and floors) as they pack down the dirt they just dug up for the third time
  

Breaking and Entering???

Got up this (Friday) morning super early (the theatre had 3 movies delivered overnight that open today) and wandered, with my eyes as closed as possible, into the bathroom. Used the toilet and brushed my teeth, all with my eyes still closed. Fumbled my hand around a little in search of my shaver. Begrudgingly open my eyes, a little, as I cannot find it. Don’t see it. Open my eyes all the way. Still don’t see it. Squint my eyes almost closed again hoping that it might appear. . .

Sidebar: In the morning I often have this really strange thing where my brain “audibly” latches onto (i.e. I say to myself) the most random thoughts and loop them over and over and over and over; especially when I am tired. So during this affair my inner dialog has lapsed into something like: where’s my shaver? where’s my shaver? where is my shaver?? where’s my shaver? where’s my shaver? where is my shaver?? where is my shaver?; this continues through the next paragraph.

. . . After about two minutes of staring at the counter, checking the mirrored cupboard, and under the bathroom sink (4 times each), I decided it might be somewhere else. I wandered around my apartment for about 15 minutes looking in places like: under the couch, in the cupboard under the kitchen sink, in my mailbox at the bottom of the stairs, and everywhere else my under slept and mostly asleep brain thought was a good idea, and wasn’t. I then came to the conclusion that maybe I overlooked it in my small, yet maybe more sneaky than I thought, bathroom.

I reentered the bathroom fully intending to check the same two cupboards again, when I realize that my razor charger is also missing (my eyes are mostly open by this point and my mind has lapsed into some self-degrading loop wondering over and over why I checked the mailbox). With this realization I am now fully awake and beginning to be a little ticked off. Someone stole my razor? Who does that? I begin to think back at who has been over to my house and come up blank as far as prospects go.

Wednesday night I had two people sleep at my house: my good friend Adam’s brother, Ryan, and the lead singer of their bad Sam. Sam played an amazing live set at a local restaurant earlier that night and the two of them were looking for a place to crash before trekking the 2 hours home (Sam is 35 and looks stunningly like a younger version of Bill Nighy; facial scars, hair, and all). Both of these guys are about as likely to steal as I am likely to get a contract with Thievery Corporation for my simple yet strikingly original loops. But I decide to give Adam a call to check with them for me.

As I am telling Adam this, I ask him to also bring up the fact that I found a rather large pile of pot seeds and stems on my kitchen countertop Thursday morning that I did not appreciate. Not only do I avoid the stuff at all costs, but I also value my standing with my landlord and the local law enforcement as a “free” and upstanding citizen. Adam is surprised as neither of these guys are involved with the stuff and promises to look into the affair.

I just got a call from Adam. Apparently around 3 AM Ryan woke up to the sound of voices in the backroom of my apartment. He went back to check it out finding an undisclosed amount of people talking, smoking pot, doing something with razor blades, and breaking up an astonishing amount of marijuana into smaller groups (note to self: close mouth I am not a codfish).

While this is the part of the story where Laura breaks into something like “and then the little girl starts pulling on my leg . . . like I am pulling yours right now,” I am not pulling yours.

Adam is going to convene with his brother and some friends and get back with me. Ryan thinks he could identify the guy if he saw him again, I should probably file a police report. . .blah blah blah.

So I guess this story is “to be continued.” Hopefully with a climatic scene where I get to punch a drug lord in the throat and demand my electric razor back.

Note to self: locking my doors tonight.

Here it goes

It is early and late. I miss my love.

I have picked up online chess to fill my time. Ok, that's only half true. I've been playing for a few weeks. Brielle put up with it most of the time. I know you may not believe this but it can be intense. I occasionally find myself sweating while trying to decide what to do next. Come across a chap now and then that makes me feel like a guy with his girlfriend in vitoria's secret: you don't dare touch anything cause it always feels wrong, but you already got yourself in here and have to ride it out till it's over. But for the most part hold my own and even win a few. Look me up if any of you play a little {gerard_gorey}.

Other than chess I just hang about a little, listening to some good tunes and searching for more. Just found this one: "waitin' for a superman (mokran mix)" by the Flaming Lips. Brielle I think we should walk out to this tune.?. I have to give the lyrics a once over, but I love the feel.

For those of you at Dordt give my little sis a hello. Her name is Sarah and she is cool, I do say so my self. I have asked Brielle to "keep an eye on her" and, I happen to know from secure sources, that Sarah has insisted that Brielle "get her into trouble". I trust that my love will find an acceptable balance. She is sharp like that.

(first post done. not as hard as I thought it might be. didnt even break a sweat)